I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
