Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
