thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
