there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
