If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
