that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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