I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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