She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
