He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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