you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
