all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
