therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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