Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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