I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
