you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
