ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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