so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
