Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
smell my finger.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
