Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
