Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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