I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
