why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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