she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
