Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
