So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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