Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
