why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
