Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
