i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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