I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
