I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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