It's like God shit irony all over that family
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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