You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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