i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
