Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
