Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
