I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
