But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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