So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
