Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We're too hungover to prance.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
