I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They have beer where we have blood.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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