i barfeds in our rink
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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