STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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