I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
