absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
