you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
false alarm, still single
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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