He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
