some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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