Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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