Where did you get a picture of my penis
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
