dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
