I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
