u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im holly from the hills drunk
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
