I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
